I Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now

Ever feels like you're slightly slower in 'getting there' than your former classmates? Why am I still in this class when all my friends are already in some big posts in bigger companies? Why is he driving a BMW while I still driving my faithful Saga? How pretty she looks with all the branded things and I'm still wearing my baju kurung from the pre-university years?

I have, and not very proud of it.

I used to be a no-risk, no-pain, no-gain girl. Always afraid to try new things. Always afraid that everybody will laugh at me when I failed at something. But nobody does, because I didn't had the guts to try anything in the first place.

Somehow I only try things that I knew I can be good at, such as the cross-stitch class instead of that computer class which I really love to go to. Why not the computer class? Because it's for the wizards who knows their computer language, I reasoned out.

Why not the advanced recorder class? It's for the popular girls, I'm sure they play better than me (even though the music teacher had singled out my playing as excellent, and my classmates had said out loud that they wish to play like me). There're always something which I created myself that scares me to make that first step.

And how I wish I knew then what I know now.

What is it that I know that would make a huge difference back then? Courage to try. Take the first step. Start by starting.

I know now that everybody else is as scared as you to make that first step, but somebody had given it a try, and succeed.

I know now that nobody will laugh at you when you try (except when you're doing something stupid). They will admire your courage for giving it a go, instead.

I know now that by taking that first step, will make me ahead of my peers. I've got nothing to loose but everything to gain. Even if I fail, I know one thing, that I sucks at that particular thing. And I can always try something else.

I'm teaching my children this particular value now. Hope they will understand it earlier than me. Don't be afraid to try child, I will love you no matter what.