Sedihnya bila mendengar Harith menangis sambil tersedu... Ibu & Ayah pergi mana? Harith nak ibu dengan Ayah, kenapa tinggalkan Harith?...
Kebiasaannya...
aku tinggalkan Hafidz, Harith & Sheera untuk tidur dengan mengajarkan mereka membaca Bismillah, doa tidur dan mengucap dua kalimah syahadah. Selepas itu aku akan ucapkan selamat malam @good night dan Ibu sayang anak ibu @I love you, sambil mencium pipi mereka.
Malam ini, entah kenapa, tiba-tiba ingin pula bercerita mengenai Yang Maha Pengasih.
Mula-mula bercerita dengan Hafidz. Seperti biasa penerimaannya adalah mengangguk dan diam. Entah dia faham entah tidak. Bila disuruh baca bismillah, berdoa dan mengucap, kuat sahaja suaranya. Tetapi apabila diminta berdoa memohon dengan Yang Maha Mendengar supaya menjadikannya rajin belajar dan menjadi anak yang soleh, terus digelengkan kepala. Bila ditanya kenapa? Katanya tidak pandai. Bila diajar dan diminta ulang apa yang diucapkan, dia mengangguk sahaja. Alhamdulillah... Mungkin sebab di sekolah telah banyak didedahkan mengenai kebesaran Allah.
Berbeza pula dengan Harith.
Baca doa tidur, kuat suara mengulang apa yang aku ucapkan. Mengucap dua kalimah syahadah juga begitu. Kemudian aku bercerita... bila nanti Harith seorang diri, Ayah tak ada, Ibu tak ada, Nenek & Atuk pun tak ada, Harith boleh berdoa pada Allah, sebab Allah Maha Mendengar. Harith doa supaya Ibu & Ayah cepat-cepat datang, nanti Allah tolong. Nanti Allah akan jaga Harith. Allah hantar malaikat jaga Harith...
Terus menangis...
Ibu & Ayah pergi mana? Harith nak ibu dengan Ayah, kenapa tinggalkan Harith?... sedihnya dengar dia menangis & merayu...
Aku cuba hendak membetulkan kefahamannya... tetapi makin kuat pula tangisannya. Aku ceritakan Allah yang paling sayang dengan Harith. Allah lagi sayang daripada ibu sayang Harith. Allah ada di mana-mana. Terus dia menjawab Harith taknak Allah, Harith nak Ibu. Sayunya hati, terasa bersalah pula pada anakku ini. Aku memujuk hati dengan mengatakan, dia masih kecil, belum faham mengenai apa yang cuba ku terangkan... Bagaimana ya untuk bercerita dengan anak kecil ini, yang suka bertanya apa? siapa? di mana? bagaimana? dan mengapa?, mengenai kebesaran Tuhan Yang Maha Esa?
Nanti akan ku cuba lagi mengajarnya mengenali Sang Pencipta.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
I Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now
Ever feels like you're slightly slower in 'getting there' than your former classmates? Why am I still in this class when all my friends are already in some big posts in bigger companies? Why is he driving a BMW while I still driving my faithful Saga? How pretty she looks with all the branded things and I'm still wearing my baju kurung from the pre-university years?
I have, and not very proud of it.
I used to be a no-risk, no-pain, no-gain girl. Always afraid to try new things. Always afraid that everybody will laugh at me when I failed at something. But nobody does, because I didn't had the guts to try anything in the first place.
Somehow I only try things that I knew I can be good at, such as the cross-stitch class instead of that computer class which I really love to go to. Why not the computer class? Because it's for the wizards who knows their computer language, I reasoned out.
Why not the advanced recorder class? It's for the popular girls, I'm sure they play better than me (even though the music teacher had singled out my playing as excellent, and my classmates had said out loud that they wish to play like me). There're always something which I created myself that scares me to make that first step.
And how I wish I knew then what I know now.
What is it that I know that would make a huge difference back then? Courage to try. Take the first step. Start by starting.
I know now that everybody else is as scared as you to make that first step, but somebody had given it a try, and succeed.
I know now that nobody will laugh at you when you try (except when you're doing something stupid). They will admire your courage for giving it a go, instead.
I know now that by taking that first step, will make me ahead of my peers. I've got nothing to loose but everything to gain. Even if I fail, I know one thing, that I sucks at that particular thing. And I can always try something else.
I'm teaching my children this particular value now. Hope they will understand it earlier than me. Don't be afraid to try child, I will love you no matter what.
I have, and not very proud of it.
I used to be a no-risk, no-pain, no-gain girl. Always afraid to try new things. Always afraid that everybody will laugh at me when I failed at something. But nobody does, because I didn't had the guts to try anything in the first place.
Somehow I only try things that I knew I can be good at, such as the cross-stitch class instead of that computer class which I really love to go to. Why not the computer class? Because it's for the wizards who knows their computer language, I reasoned out.
Why not the advanced recorder class? It's for the popular girls, I'm sure they play better than me (even though the music teacher had singled out my playing as excellent, and my classmates had said out loud that they wish to play like me). There're always something which I created myself that scares me to make that first step.
And how I wish I knew then what I know now.
What is it that I know that would make a huge difference back then? Courage to try. Take the first step. Start by starting.
I know now that everybody else is as scared as you to make that first step, but somebody had given it a try, and succeed.
I know now that nobody will laugh at you when you try (except when you're doing something stupid). They will admire your courage for giving it a go, instead.
I know now that by taking that first step, will make me ahead of my peers. I've got nothing to loose but everything to gain. Even if I fail, I know one thing, that I sucks at that particular thing. And I can always try something else.
I'm teaching my children this particular value now. Hope they will understand it earlier than me. Don't be afraid to try child, I will love you no matter what.
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